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ABC Offers In-Depth Look at Top Senate Races

01.11.10

It has not been a smooth year for Republicans nationally. The Republican Pary's preferred candidates lost the primary in eight races, from Kentucky and Nevada to Utah and Alaska. Instead of supporting Republican Party-groomed candidates, the party has found itself supporting political neophytes.

Here is a look at ABC's coverage of some of this year's marquee Senate races.

Nevada

In Nevada, the top Democrat in the Senate, Majority Leader Harry Reid, is in the fight of his political life. Reid has had close races throughout his political career – he won by a mere 524 votes in 1998. But his race against tea party favorite Sharron Angle is one of the most expensive and personal in the country. Angle has been assailed by Reid as a crack pot. She targeted him as Washington insider. She has avoided the press in recent months after interviews she gave on conservative radio stations. She referred to "second amendment remedies" as a way for people to deal with politicians. And she accused Reid of breaking the first commandment by trying to put government before God. TV ads in Nevada have been some of the meanest in the country. Reid's camp has accused her of trying to make Nevada a haven for domestic abusers. She has accused him of trying to give Viagra to sex offenders. Neither claim is true.

Source: ABC News

Is this a justifiable grounds for divorce?

Aug 01, 2008 by The Notorious P.I.G | Posted in Marriage & Divorce

Here's the deal:

I am 43 years old, my wife is 41, we have three kids. I am a work from home Dad(writer), and my wife is a Pharmacist who works for a major pharmaceutical sales firm (regional sales manager).

My father in law runs the publishing company that carries most of my work. Divorcing his daughter becaue she is fat probably woulnd't sit well with him (he has been married for over 40 years to a fat woman). We have major contract renewals due 7 months from now which represent a major portion of my income.

About 5 years ago, when my wife started to get a little out of shape (now she is a lot out of shape) I started to lose my libido.Initially I didn't tie my wife's decreasing attraciveness to my loss of ibido. I assumed it was just a function of the aging process (ie.only a problem within me).
First I went to my doctor who was all too eager to declare that I had "Erectile Dysfunction" or E.D. and even more eager to start me taking viagra, then Cialis.

I tried them, and yes they make my "soldier stand at attention" well enough, but I still didn't have the desire to be with this increasingly overweight and out of shape woman who is my wife.

After about 6 months trying our differnt natural remedies, phamaceuticals, chinese herbalist remedies etc. I decided to stop using any of them. These products certainly made me ABLE to perform but simply didn't make me WANT to have sex with my wife.

I hired a new "personal assistant" who came highly recommended and she is well educated. Due to my schedule my assistant needs to accompany me most everywhere throughot my day when I am running errands, going to the gym etc. She is very attractive. I noticed I would get aroused simply by her proximity (smelling her perfume etc.).

SO a light went on in my head. I was misdiagnosed! I don't have, nor did I ever have erectile dysfunction!

Well one thing led to another and I have been having an affair (of a sexual nature) with my personal assitant.

THe long and short of it is, I am not attracted to my wife, not because I don't want to be, lord knows I've tried to be a good husband to her, I signed her up to the gym, arobics, yoga, hired a nutritional consultant to teach her to cook healthier, set the alarm for her to get up an hour earlier than the rest of the house so she can go running, bought a big dog for her to walk... ends up I have to walk the dog.

I think she likes being out of shape. I am simply not attracted to her anymore and I know that she forced me to have clandestine affairs through her unwillingness to change her unatractive body.

Because of her laziness, I have been forced to sneak around to have sex with women who are attractive. I kind of resent her for this. Of course, I know that most of you will say I am a lout for blaming her for my infidelity, but it's true, she is to blame. I cannot lay the blame at anyone else's feet.I did't want to do this, but neither do I desire to be with an out of shape woman wh isn't attractive when I know for an absolute certainty that I don't have to.

Any advice?

What more advice do you need a$$hole!! You make me sick!! I cannot believe the woman who would shack up with your cheating a$$!

Get help and divorce your wife b/c she doesn't deserve a man like you!! You are a sorry piece of excuse for a man!

And oh yea, you are a writer you make your story juicy, so you can look good! You are a cheater b/c you are a sick inconsiderate bastard DOG!! Low dow dirty hoe!

You make me sick!!

martina | Aug 01, 2008

Find a good counselor who will tell you the truth about yourself.
Kimberly T | Aug 01, 2008

hell yes it is:)
Lissa Law | Aug 01, 2008

I think it is best to just continue with what your doing. Just keep up the smile when your at home and save the erection for you mistress.
Good luck.
andrew204204 | Aug 01, 2008

are you sure your profession is a writer, hehe.

Good luck... I would say to be honest about the situation because you did mention you had children and you don't want them to get the wrong impression of you!
sdmr41 | Aug 01, 2008

People may have a lot to say in response to your question, but ultimately it sounds like you've made a decision.

Beds already been made, and you've been lying it - now its just time to let everybody else know
lay429 | Aug 01, 2008

People that have affairs ALWAYS blames the other spouse. You chose to have an affair and would have done so, no matter what your wife did or didn't do.
dark eyes | Aug 01, 2008

Well, if she hasn't caught you cheating yet, then maybe you could carry on with this indefinately.

You also may want to try taking nude pictures of the girls (without their faces showing of course) that you're screwing around with.

Then just to "spice things up" get your wife to allow you to take some nude pictures of her some night.

Then one day sit your wife down, show her the pictures of herself, then hand her the pictures of the other girls that you've been screwing.

Tell her that you've been screwing these girls and your wife should realize that you haven't been screwing her.

Then ask her if she can see a difference between her and the girls you've been screwing.

Either she'll divorce you (which should make things easier on you) or she'll get her act together. Either way, it's a Win-Win situation for you!

-ô¿ô-
(-----)
whocj78 | Aug 01, 2008

Stop blaming her for your crap....this is the biggest blow hard bunch of paragraphs I have EVER read! You are a poor excuse for a husband and partner.
judi_southworth | Aug 01, 2008

1) you do not need justification for divorce... those ideas ended generations ago.
2) the stick you father-in-law holds over your head (the job) is a lousy reason to stay.
3) Is there any love?
4) Do you have children in the home?
5)In the end it always comes down to, as Dear Abby would say, "would you be better off with her, or without her?
Andrew | Aug 01, 2008

Have you ever thought of getting involved in these activities you want your lovely wife to do? Her self esteem must be horrible having to deal with you. You seem to be very self centered. If she knew you were cheating on her with your "assistant" Im sure she would go file the papers for you. Just tell her so that way she knows that she isnt good enough for you. You married her for better or worse, richer or poorer. You sound like a guy that lives off of the big EGO!! Just leave your wife. You will be doing her a favor!!
jamienkori | Aug 01, 2008

She has infidelity as her grounds to divorce you, and she should.

She did not force you to do anything. You chose to have this affair. The blame for this lies squarely at your feet. You're just avoiding taking responsibility for your actions. I'm sure that you are not the same person you were 5 years ago either. From what you've written here, she may have gained weight, but you have become shallow and uncaring.

You purchased things for her, but have you ever lovingly encouraged her? Is she depressed or does she have health problems? Perhaps your lack of interest and callous treatment of her has a lot to do with it.
Greyhound Mama | Aug 01, 2008

Your wife is clearly to blame for the demise of the marriage; I can certainly relate, as my ex-wife went the same route. I was thinking that her tremendous weight gain was caused by pregnancy, but became suspicious when she carried what I could only assume to be octuplets for over three years. I finally confronted her one day and said "You never are going to give birth to those octuplets, are you?" She was silent for a moment, and then quietly said "No."

I filed divorce papers the next week.
mr.sinistral@ymail.com | Aug 01, 2008

Dude! You are not FORCED to do anything. You've consciously made a choice to do something wrong. Perhaps you and your wife need to get some counseling.
*DeckaBarie*~** | Aug 01, 2008

Well i think you should tell her to loose some weight because your unhappy about it, if you din't tell her before, then she might think you din't care, and then she thought it doesn't matter if i exercise or not, so try to talk to her about it, but try not to hurt her feelings in the same way, but it's better that you do that then cheating with other women
Rasmus N | Aug 01, 2008

Oh puh-LEASE!

You're lying to yourself, your wife and your GF.

Like you would take the advice of strangers. You're either bragging or full of BS.
mouser | Aug 01, 2008

Well first bud i know you are going to get all of of flack for this and its fine. But if you find in your marriage your just not getting your solder to salute any more with her it may be time to move on. I know it inatally sounds bad your getting a divorce because she has devoloped from your discription a heap of extra curves. but really you have been faithful it seems like you keep feeling like you need to be with her because you are married and you should stay with her and be faithful. But really it hink in your heart no matter how you spinn it you love her and always will but you lost your desire for her, that kinda shows you have been over her staying because of kids is your only reason. You need to think of your self in this as well. Talk to her and say that you have been working to keep it going but you feel like things have changed and you no longer are attractive to her you tried every thing but you still can't be attracted to her. Also admit to cheating if you feel obligated, Go and talk to her father if he gets upset because of the divorce then you don't need him. But its time you thought baout your happyness and take your self some where you are happy. You may just need some time away and see how things work you may even end up going back. I wish you the best of luck and i help i was helpful to you.
irish_lad_921 | Aug 01, 2008

Yes, it is..lost of affection is a good reason but are you sure of your decision?Try to talk to a marriage counselor and do some self-talk,having children should be considered,woman when happy and contented tends to be lax w/ their figure especially if they trust their spouses or partner.
If possible try your best to find time to talk to your wife and try to save your marriage,since you are still not so hook up with your assistant
rubymobo | Aug 01, 2008

Do your wife and favor and divorce her. She deserves better then you. Now your father in law can take you off of his pay roll, as he no longer has the obligation. Perhaps he can hire a new writer based on skill and not family ties.

So you are forced to sneak around? How? Is there a gun to your head? Take responsibility for your actions!

sadgirlinms | Aug 01, 2008

Thats the problem with most men. They like to place the blame on women because they think with their ding dong instead of their brain!!!!
kittykat | Aug 01, 2008

Thats deep
Pretty Mama | Aug 01, 2008

Oh oh well listen up women this sounds like a reality check LOL Guess I better put down this donut and head to the gym before i gain more weight and my husband leaves me. But to be honest we all gain weight its normal but your husband should not have to live with a fat cow if he didn't marry a fat cow. So stay in shape and stay pretty. We might age but that does not give us an excuse to let go of ourselves.
cireniod | Aug 01, 2008

Here's some advice you magoginistic loser: Don't cheat on your wife! Don't try and get her to turn into someone she's not! And your penis is old and won't stand at attntion!!!!!!!!!
Erin L | Aug 01, 2008

"Because of her laziness, I have been forced to sneak around to have sex with women who are attractive."

What a wanker!

Blaming the woman for your sexual conduct. If she's fat and you can't handle it, simply be honest and get a divorce. Sleeping with the secretary is another step in the "cruel male ego" ladder. Besides, human metabolisms decline with age and both men and women pack on the pounds. If she went overboard, that is her problem but it does not "make" you sleep with 20-something whores! Have some responsibility, lol.
Tardis Girl | Aug 01, 2008

First, "irish_la..." is stupid for trying to rationalize your disgusting behavior. You are a piece of sh*t, and should be dealt with as such. If the only reason you married your wife is for her looks, you are quite possibly the most shallow person I have encountered. I feel like it is almost pointless to try to convey reason and wisdom to someone lacking the aptitude to comprehend what a real marriage should be about. My best advice for you is to be man enough to admit your cheating ways to your wife. On those grounds, I hope for her sake she divorces your dumb ass and you find yourself someone who will treat you the same way you treated her. In the end, bad people get what they deserve.
MDL | Aug 02, 2008

I cant get enough sex BUT?

Sep 28, 2010 by Confused | Posted in Men's Health

I am 32 and the guy I've been dating for over a year now is 25. I have grown to love him more than words could ever describe and willing to accept any good or bad bagage in the relationship. I feel as if his problems are now our problems and I want to overcome them that way but I am starting to question if the problem is really me???
For the last year, we had sex maybe 10 times and it is always cut short. The first time he said he was exhausted from working all day and that he could not maintain an erection more than 5 minutes. The second time he said he drank too much after we went to a bar and again his erection did'nt last more than 5 mins. The third time, I kinda rolled over and said, whats the deal? If you don't desire me the way I desire you then why are we doing this? He assured me it was'nt me and that the truth is he takes very strong anxiety medication (xannax) several times a day and it has effected him for years. I said okay and I tried to overcome this issue by purchasing him viagra, cilias and other street remedies from drug stores and herbal markets but nothing seems to change. He has never ejaculated during sex or oral sex. I hate to be disgusting here but I feel more details maybe the better a response... I gave him head for almost 2 hours... mostly while he was soft because it goes up and down. He says it is great and he makes noises and shakes but never cums. I love him and feel like I am hurting him by encouraging him to keep trying. I still have the theory in back of my head that it is being caused by me but again last week he told me he feels hopeless when it comes to having sex. I don't want to ever be the reason he hurts or feels embarassed so now I don't know how to engage him. I want him to know I desire him so he doesnt think i've lost interest in him but now it seems like he has given up and doesnt even want to try.
The sad part is, I love him so much that I could live with no sex and just hold him for the rest of my life but what he considers "his" issue is making him push me away. What should I do?

Additional Details
ED meds came from a friend who is a nurse. She gets free samples at the clinic she works and I did buy several over the counter treatments that failed. He is not content at all with it but he is afraid to discuss it with me or anyone else. When I start to move on and tell him I want him to find someone who makes him happy, he always finds a way to make it ok. I just don't know if I should push him to a doctor or let that be his choice?

I think he gave you an honest, valid reason. Xanax. You would be surprised how much truth there is to what he is saying. If it were something else, he would have stop wasting your time a long time ago. ED may be a factor, but sounds like it is chemically induced from the Xanax. Viagra and Cealis DO work, but not for everyone, and not all the time. (Can't say so much about OTC remedies although Panax Ginseng does work well for a lot of people.)

I think you boyfriend is genuine (which makes you a lucky girl.) I know it is soooooooooooo difficult but you got to be more understanding that he has a true and valid physical problem. But it does not have to be the end of the world. I got some ideas.
1.) Talk to him about trying to get off of Xanax, or going on a lower dose or a different drug. (But many psych meds can act this way, Ativan and Valium can act this way too.) They lower blood pressure. An erection happens from increased blood pressure in a localized area.

2.) If you two are very serious, throw around the possibility of him getting penile implants?

3.) Try using a C* ring. Silicone are the most comfortable if this will be a gift. Don't wear for more than a 1/2 hour. This can help the situation in number one up there, countering the pressure problem.

4.) Be more creative (and less demanding). Sex does not always have to mean penile/vaginal, or oral. Talk openly with him and in detail. Buy toys if you must, they are fun!! and there are endless types. (Many men will swear by multi mind blowing orgasms at the cause of a good prostate toy for instance.) If he is shy about it, buy a couple things and see how he reacts. Buy him a pretty silicone pocket p*$$*, he will love you for it.

Pleasure comes from the act and does not have to demand orgasm. If he told you he felt good, believe him. Be loving and listen, that's what makes a great lover.

ALSO................It is easy to mistake lack of intimacy for being unwanted. He is totally embrassed and feels inadequate-like less of a man. These are very strong emotions that are hard to convey to another and can get very confusing. He loves you, wants you, and matter of factly NEEDS you and he is very aware of it. If it were any different, he would have kicked you to the curb a long time ago.

sadistwitch | Sep 28, 2010

Sex is over rate or is it?

Sep 29, 2010 by Confused | Posted in Mental Health

sex is great. You need too talk more about this

| Sep 29, 2010

Sex, Sex, SEX! Rrrrrr?

Sep 28, 2010 by Confused | Posted in Other - Family & Relationships

It's totally not you but he has trouble having an erection and he feels really low about this issue too. It's definitely true that this issue will make him push you away because he's insecure and he feels as if he can fulfill you sexually which is usually a big thing for a guy.

I think he should take the iniative to get help if he wants to remain with you but then again maybe he feels like it will never change. However I think he should put more effort into this if he wants to continue being with you and he could find a solution and be happier in the end.

If you can't communicate with him though I see no point continuing this even if you claim to love him so much. If you love him so much I think he should be willing to get any help he can IF HE LOVES YOU that much too.

SBL | Sep 28, 2010

What's the deal with sex?

Sep 23, 2010 by Confused | Posted in Gender & Women's Studies

First things first, you need to talk to him about some things. For starters, you said he takes Xanax for anxiety - this means two things. Number 1, being as he is an anxious person to start with, he probably would have performance anxiety issues to start with, which can be a serious hurdle for a couple to overcome, and number 2, his medication could be causing sexual side effects. Or perhaps a combination of both.

Sit down with him and ask him some direct questions. First off, ask him if he can masturbate to the point of ejaculation on his own. If he can, it leads me to believe that it's anxiety (not the medication) that's causing him to have problems with you. Second, ask him if he had any issues before he started the medication (or if he was a virgin when he started). Finally, ask him if there's any way he can come off the Xanax medication or switch brands at least, and then start up taking only viagra (or something similar).

He needs to talk to a doctor about this, and if it's purely anxiety (which I get the feeling it may be), a few sessions with a therapist may help. If it's a physical problem, there could be remedies for that as well, and I vaguely remember reading an article about creams that are rubbed on the penis that supposedly work on everyone.

The big thing you need to remember is that you're not doing anything wrong - you appear to have tried your best and gotten nowhere (I mean - 2 hours of going down on him... you're a champ! lol). I'm sure it's frustrating for both of you, but if you've done all you can, that's all there is to it. From his point of view, I'm sure he's frustrated with himself, probably embarrassed, emasculated, and hates that he disappoints you, but he needs to see a doctor and deal with it if he wants to change. If you mean that much to him, he can take being embarrassed in front of a doctor.

Overall though, you need to decide what is important to you - you said you can handle a sex-free relationship. Personally, I don't think I could do that, but if you can and want to do that, then that's fine. But if you agree to do this, the best thing to do would probably just be to avoid sex all together - to stop trying because it will lead to frustration and resentment for both of you.

If you can't handle a sex-free relationship, that's perfectly acceptable. Don't feel guilty for it. At that point, you give him an ultimatum and say, "look, you can try to find a way to fix this or you can watch me walk."

Jim Baw | Sep 23, 2010

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ABC Offers In-Depth Look at Top Senate Races